Stop being a victim and create your life

March 6, 2015

 

Unfortunately I grew up in a society where many saw themselves as victims; almost all the time. Most do not want to take responsibility but love to blame. Blame the circumstances, blame the government, blame the parents, blame the teacher, blame the weather. Anything but yourself. Yes these all have an impact but we are not totally powerless either.

This is so sad when you start to learn more about the human being. When you are a victim, you really do not need to do so much. You do not take the responsibility to take action. Even if you take one or two steps in the right direction, you will prove again that you are a victim because there will always be something that does not go according to plan and you can prove yourself right.

Although this looks like the easy way out, we don’t always realize the impact. You feel pretty powerless when you stay in this space. Everything happens to you. You feel sorry for yourself. You have no control over your life. You are only reacting to life.

This is so sad. When people who are always victims of their circumstances, they never feel fulfilled.  You don’t see how you can make a difference, how you can create your own life. It gets easy to be lazy and to give up. When something bad happens you ask WHY ME? It is the “I am a poor victim” mentality. You don’t see all the choices you have when something bad happens to you.  (and something bad happens to all of us)

How did I realize I came from an always-victim society? Because I got out of the box and saw different behavior around me in my new country of residence. There is more accountability and more awareness in the society I live now. People take the responsibility of their actions, they don’t blame as much. I worked with bosses and managers who could say “I made a mistake and it is my fault.” They were not trying to find excuses to make themselves right. Most people are not stuck in playing “it’s all my parents’ fault” game. If they do there are many people to remind them to suck it up, be an adult and move on. Did anyone go to a therapist and did not talk about their parents? It is true that parents or our care takers have the biggest influence on us. That is why it is important to understand why we may be behaving in certain ways. But it is to understand, not to blame. Otherwise the whole world should have an issue with their parents. Because no matter what your parents do, even if they were the perfect people (which does not exist), you will always find something that impacted you. Even if they said nothing wrong, as children we can make one look wrong and create a story about it subconsciously.  So there is really no point in making our parents wrong. As long as we have parents and care givers which we all do, we will have some scars growing up. This is totally inevitable. Our children have us as parents too. Do you want to be blamed as well when you were doing your best at the time with what you know? The generation gap and what we learn more about the human mind and feelings will create the reasons to blame parents because every generation will know how to do parenting better with the advance in science.

 I met and watched so many people who had the worst things that happened to them but still had the most powerful life they created for themselves never falling into the victim trap. They recognized the misfortune but they knew it was not going to shape their life. They know how not to identify themselves with the circumstances no matter how grim it seemed at the time. I have seen people with severe disabilities, people who faced unbelievable abuse, rape but still created amazing lives for themselves. They chose to create their lives instead of playing the victim; they saw their own power.

We all possess this power and the freedom to choose what to do no matter what happens to us. I rather choose living a good life and create the life I want instead of feeling weak and sorry for myself.

Please watch this short clip to understand what I mean and if you want to be really inspired:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9S3n_tILKo

Love.

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