I will try versus I will do it

Do you realize how we do not like to make commitments? A friend of us may invite us to go to an event together. You may say “I will try” in case something better comes up.

Even worse we say “Yes”, but it means nothing to us. Our word is not a promise. We can change our minds whenever.

Why is that though?

First, our word does not mean anything. If we even see leaders at the highest positions change their minds and say the opposite the next day, why wouldn’t we? Unless we have learned from conscious parents or did a lot of self-development, our word, what we say may be broken anytime for any reason and it is OK. If we do it too many times we don’t even think of the consequences of this on other people (and on us). It is very likely that they won’t trust us anymore.

I think integrity is also a related value here. I used to think integrity means sticking to your word, what you promised no matter what. I would never make promises that I may not fulfill. I found out later from great mentors that this makes you think small. If you are only going to make promises you can absolutely keep, you will make the easiest commitments not to fail. Then I also learned in an excellent class I took that integrity also includes calling and telling the reason why you cannot keep your promise. You are respecting the other person and their time; genuinely. If you do not keep on canceling plans all the time, but only when it is absolutely necessary, you are still in integrity. This could also be a promise you made to yourself or the world. Things can change but it should be for real reasons.

Second, trying is like leaving a crack in the door. You can escape anytime for any reason. We can always say “I never promised”, “I never said YES”, “I only said I will try” so that we can change our minds anytime. It allows us to be flaky. If we want something really bad, there is no trying. You are determined. You are up for the battle. You are there for the struggle to keep it real,

Do I use the word try? You bet I do. I am just more conscious of it and I remind myself I am being flaky. I take the responsibility and I use it less. When I look at people who I really admire, they are never in the “trying” zone. They are always in the "doing" zone. They do not find excuses.

That is who I strive to be.

I know that is one of the reason somebody like Kobe Bryant was respected by so many. He never tried. He always said since he was 17 that he will be one of the greatest basketball players of all times and play for Lakers. And he did absolutely everything necessary without trying but doing. No coincidence that he achieved all his goals.

If you never thought about this distinction before, just notice the energy in you when you say “I will try” versus “I will do it” next time you answer a friend or you make a plan. Will you try or do absolutely everything necessary to make it happen?