Your Layoff Doesn’t Define You—Let’s Heal the Shame

Some things can only be shared in the presence of someone you trust—in a safe space.

When I create that space for clients who have recently been laid off, the first emotion that often surfaces is shame. Especially if it’s their first time going through this—and they’re well-educated, accomplished professionals.

Even if they’re one of 10,000 people laid off from the same company, they can’t help but believe the other 90,000 who stayed must have done something right. (Which means they did something wrong!)

Maybe those who still have their jobs were smarter. Maybe they stayed later at the office. Maybe they had stronger connections, went to a better school, or said the right thing during their last 1:1 with their manager. The list goes on. Self-doubt creeps in. 

But I want you to hear this:

Layoffs are a fact of life now.

I started working at a time when people often stayed in one job until retirement. That’s no longer the case—and I’ve watched this shift happen for many reasons (which I am writing about in my upcoming book).

So, here’s the most important message I want to give anyone who has been laid off:

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

This is not about your performance or your abilities. You didn’t do anything wrong.

You are one of many—sometimes hundreds or thousands—being let go because of "cost-cutting", "economic instability", "restructuring", "technological advances that require fewer people", or "fixing inefficiencies". (And let’s be honest—no one at the top ever will ever say, “We made poor decisions, so now you have to go. Sorry.” even if it is the case. )

No matter how they spin it—it’s not about you.

In fact, this is what I wrote in my new book today:

“Layoffs are not a reflection of your worth or your capabilities.”

I know it doesn’t always feel that way. Losing your role, your work, your routine, your coworkers, your paycheck—it’s devastating. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that pain. I’ve gone through the same stages—and I wish I hadn’t.

That’s why I want to be here for you. If you’re beating yourself up right now, please read this and believe me instead of the harsh voice in your head. That voice is often our worst enemy. The things we say to ourselves in moments like these are things we’d never say to a friend.

Instead, we’d say the same words I’m sharing here with you.

So please—be gentle with yourself.

Take time. Rest. Grieve. Then, when you’re ready, begin to dust yourself off. Take inventory of the incredible experiences you’ve had, the skills you’ve developed, and the unique light you bring into the world—just by being you. ⭐️

We’re often told to be kind to people—but we rarely extend that same kindness to ourselves.

Be kind to yourself.

Remember: This is just a chapter—not your whole story.

I cannot stop thinking about the layoffs and all the families impacted, so I wanted to reach out to anyone out there who needs to hear this. 

If you're ready for other practical next steps, you can also download my Layoff Survival Toolkit.

Best wishes in your journey, 

Ozlem Brooke Erol